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"Hey! Shoo!" Mom frowned and Licorice gave her a petulant look, but when I gave him a tiny scrunch of my nose, Lick knew we had to chill for a bit.Lick was a really smart dog, black labs are one of the smartest breeds around, and he loved my mom just like I did, but he didn't always understand her. Neither did I, for that matter. We were probably lucky that Mom had been too worried about me to notice the huge lump of dog under my blankets earlier. She worried about ticks, but I knew Lick didn't have any of those."That's why you have a fever," she chided us both. "I told you before not to kiss the dog like that. You just don't know where his mouth has been, Tiffany!" But I know exactly ... Mmmpphh..." I couldn't say anymore because my mom was pushing the thermometer under my tongue. That was probably for the best because she didn't need to know his tongue had been digging a well between my thighs. Jeeze! I was soaked down there!"Now you keep that there and I'll be back in a minute.". You enrolled on the easiest course you could get into. You borrowed some stranger’s designs off Deviant Art. You’re a spy. You’re a James Bond with a backpack full of underwear, pursuing sad women. You must be compensated for keeping these women company. The girls crush pepper into your drink. They lift your gums up, tap your teeth. They squirt soy sauce in a glass of wine Kay’s told you she tossed between her hands for 20 minutes in the supermarket aisle before paying thirty bucks for it. The girls force you to drink the soy-wine. You say a wine-baby is growing in your belly. They cackle. They’re amazed someone so old can be so immature. The girls go to bed 90 minutes late. You recite a story for each girl. The stories are plots of movies you’ve seen, Gladiator, Master & Commander. Kay recites 30-second stories for each girl, slams their bedroom door, puts her back against it, rolls her eyes up at God, calls his name, laughs. You move to the couch. She pours wines, puts her right.
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